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Sunday, February 25th, 2007
4:25 am - Joshua's obituary...
If anybody wants it without getting the Sunday paper....

Joshua James Bryant

I hope all of his friends can make it to the viewing.

( 1 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Saturday, February 24th, 2007
1:10 am - Funeral Arrangements...
Joshua's viewing is on Tuesday, February 27th, 2007 at 11am.

Call me and I'll tell you where.

If you're coming from out of town and you need someplace to stay for a night or two, I can probably find you a place to stay.

801.654.3172

(What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Friday, February 23rd, 2007
8:41 am - From Joshua's fiance..
I've been staring at this blank screen for five minutes, not even knowing where to begin.

Joshua committed suicide.

That sentance looks so evil. I wish I could delete it, but I need you all to know. I don't know how many of you really knew him, or if any of you even know who he is.

Joshua James Bryant is the smartest, most talented person I have ever met. He was my lover, my scary bear, my entire world.

I never thought that he would do this.

I got home from work at 1:25am Tuesday morning and he had hung himself from the bar in our bedroom closet.

I'm so terrified. I'm so lost. I wish I were dead inside right now. But I'm having so many emotions I can't handle it.

His mother is having me stay with her for a while, so I can meet his family. Also because I can't handle being in our apartment after what happened.

His mother and I are going to the mortuary at 5pm today to discuss funeral arrangements. I want to have a viewing. After that, we're going to cremate him. His mother wants to take his ashes back to Mass. and spread his ashes on their beach. If any of you knew him and want to come to his viewing, feel free to call me at (801).654.3172.

I'm sorry, but I'm not changing the message on the answering machine, so sorry if it makes you cry, but I can't change it. Not now.

I'm sorry to everyone. I love you all. Thank you to everyone who's been there for me, especially Molly. I couldn't have handled going back to our apartment without her.

I was going to sign this, but I can't.

(What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Tuesday, September 12th, 2006
4:16 pm
look im updating

( 5 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Wednesday, October 12th, 2005
6:17 pm
i hate when people make me sound like more of an asshole than i am. because yes i am an asshole but i have reasons to be

( 11 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Tuesday, September 13th, 2005
1:27 pm
my nose has been bleeding for like two days now and im in so much pain. all i want right now is for my nose to stop hurting. it hurts so much that i cant even hear or see that well. ive been joking around and telling cherry its a tumor *in arnold voice " its a tumor"

( 8 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Sunday, September 4th, 2005
12:07 am
read this bullshit

http://www.livejournal.com/users/bhsoj/122686.html?thread=414526#t414526

I should be happy I was disowned and kicked out cause now I have a fulltime job and Im looking for an apartment, except... wait.. hmm... I ALREADY HAD A FUCKING FULLTIME JOB AND I WAS ALREADY LOOKING FOR AN APARTMENT, ALSO THEN I WOULD HAVE HAD THE MONEY TO PAY BARB AND JOE BACK BUT I HAD TO SPEND IT TO TRY NOT TO BE HOMELESS YOU FUCKING DUMB BITCH.

( 3 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Thursday, August 25th, 2005
11:55 am
Im looking for a place somewhere in the sugar house area. I dont care if its an apartment or a room for rent or whatever I just need somewhere to live. I have a fulltime job at the theatre as a projectionist/ usher/ consessions but I dont have a car so I need somewhere at least semi close. So if you know of anywhere reply to this. Thanks

( 3 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

11:45 am
monday i get to work in booth at the theatre. for those of you that dont know what that means it means i get to be a projectionist, which is a couple steps up from my job now. i still need to find an apartment...

its wierd being homeless with a fulltime job

( 1 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Saturday, August 13th, 2005
1:01 pm
I have a job at the dollar theatre in sugar house now which is good and I already work 38.5 hours this week. Also I really need help from someone with a truck to help me move my stuff from my old place before the person throws it out.

Rueben do you still read this?

( 8 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Saturday, August 6th, 2005
1:00 am - FYI
I realized that I never updated anything anymore so this is what I put on myspace but some of it Ive already posted.

For those of you that dont know alot has changed. Im not with Phoebe anymore and we hate eachother, I hate her cause shes changed into a completely different person and she hates me... well because i said she sounded like a whore... and then took it back and said slut... and then later called her a bitch. Around the same time as Phoebe breaking up with me my mother disowned me and kicked me out. And after all that good stuff I met a girl named Cherry and we have been dating for a while and it is great. Also Im homeless right now but I have a job interview in a couple days so hopefully i get the job then get a place.

( 1 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Thursday, July 7th, 2005
2:20 am
hi ive been gone a long time and i probably wont be online that often so if you need to talk to me leave a message on this....

but in recent news i was disowned by my mother and kicked out and she kept alot of my stuff and called the cops on me.... and i have a new girlfriend named cherry and shes awesome chick

( 5 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Saturday, June 4th, 2005
12:51 am - Difference in Love
I would like if all the girls that read this tell me there opinion on this. Do you agree with what it says about how women love?


"Men can be notoriously simple in matters of the heart, and Selden Rose, unfortunately, was one of those men. He had fallen in love with Janey Wilcox the moment she'd sat down next to him at Mimi's party, and in the single-minded way of men, he loved her simply because she was- Because she existed-
He hadn't really wanted much from her- only that she love him a little and give way to his wishes now and then and stand by him. And with the irrational blindness of a man misguided by what he is convinced is love, he still hoped that she loved him, too. For he honestly believed that if she did, despite the odds against them, they would manage to get through this together.
When a man falls in love like this, a woman may abuse him terribly, and while he might eventually hate her or call her crazy, it's nearly impossible to convince him that this isn't true love.
But women are more complicated when it comes to their affections: They rarely love simply for what it is- but for what it might be, and more importantly, for how it might affect them. This is why a woman will endure a great deal of abuse in love- as long as she believes there is something to be gained.
But when a woman sees that a man can no longer help her, when his actions become detrimental to her lifestyle, she can fall out of love as suddenly and as firmly as an apple falling from a tree. There is no putting the apple back on the tree, just as there is no going back in love. Her heart closes against the man as resolutely as if he had never existed."


I dont know it just seems really fucked up to me. I mean when I think of love I think that the love shouldnt be there because you expect to get something from who your with... well except for love back.

current mood: discontent

( 10 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Wednesday, June 1st, 2005
12:24 am
okay I'm bored so I decided to post my favorite bands and my favorite songs by them.



Ministry - Dead Guy,the Lay Lady Lay cover they did, Animosity, Scarecrow, The Eye of Man(not sure if its the real title of the song or not)

NIN - Please, Ruiner

TSOL - Code Blue, Dance With Me, 80 Times

Skinny Puppy - Assimalate, Deep Down Trauma Hounds

MDFMK - Hydro Electric

(What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Thursday, May 19th, 2005
12:59 am
So what do YOU think of me?

( 16 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
1:49 am - heh
i miss phoebe
1:24 am - just a song I like
The Fall by Ministry

Take this invitation
Bishops queen to pawn
All of us were taken
All that was is gone
Of this information
Shames us one and all
Where’s my compensation?
Watching others fall
Welcome to the fall
Everything is useless
Nothing works at all
Nothing ever matters
Welcome to the fall

http://www.releasemagazine.net/spotlightministry2.htm

( 2 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Sunday, May 8th, 2005
2:11 am
did you happen to catch
or did it happen so fast
what you thought would always last
has passed you by
is everything speeding up
or am i slowing down
i'm just spinning around
and i don't know why
all the pieces don't fit
though i didn't really give a shit
i never wanted to be like you
but for all i aspire
i am really a liar
and i'm running out of things i can do

i'd like to stay
but every day
everything pushes me farther away
if you could show
help me to know
how it's supposed to be
where did it go?

pleading and
needing and
bleeding and
breeding and
feeding
exceeding
where is everybody?
trying and
lying
defying
denying
crying and
dying
where is everybody?

well okay, enough.
you've had your fun
but come on there has got to be someone
hasn't yet become
so numb
and succumb
and
god damn i am so tired of pretending
wishing i was ending
when all i'm really doing is trying to hide
and keep it inside
fill it with lies
open my eyes?
maybe i wish i could try

pleading and
needing and
bleeding and
breeding
feeding
exceding
where is everybody?
trying and
lying
defying
denying
crying and
dying
where is everybody?

( 2 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Wednesday, May 4th, 2005
1:07 am
i think im starting to hate the internet... because if you look hard enough, which i do, i can always find someone acting not the way i think they are and usually not the way i want or hope they are. maybe i should just not care or just stop myself from knowing the way they act online

( 5 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

Sunday, May 1st, 2005
11:57 pm - what is going on
i havent been online for a long time so...... phoebe and me arent together and i moved to cheyenne.

( 2 Slapped |What did the 5 fingers say to the face?)

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